The Weird

by Nicole on January 21, 2010

I feel it’s time for an honest confession today. I’m not gonna lie anymore..I’m weird. I mean, I feel weird and I say weird things sometimes and my sense of humor is weird. How can I prove this to you? Well..many ways.

The problem is when I have to open my mouth to socialize. Things and thoughts and misspoken words come out without the consent of my brain.
I remember a few months after I met my boyfriend. We went to a cool New Years Eve party where there were at least 10 different nationalities. It was great. There were Mexicans, Cubans, Frenchies, Argentineans, etc. I was the only American which, for some reason, made me feel cool. But let me tell you about the German man.

The German man and my boyfriend, who is Spanish, were chatting about Spain and having quite a good conversation in English. My boyfriend has a good level of English, but the German was a little bit rusty.. But anyhoo..they were chatting away and then the German man mentioned his recent trip to Seville. He was saying how great the city was, the people were so nice..blah, blah, blah. Then I blurted out, “How are the prostitutes?” As he looked at me, I knew my weirdness cover was blown. Then it was obvious that he didn’t know the word prostitute. It was that or he was pretending he didn’t hear me correctly.

So at that moment, I could have taking advantage of the moment to hide my weirdness. I could have waved my hand and said “oh..nothing..never mind. Did you see a flamenco show?” But instead I shouted, “The Prostitutes! How were the Prostitutes?!”

It just went downward from there as I made body gestures and tried to explain prostitutes. But really, who doesn’t know that word? I’m sure my future hubby was a little perplexed at this sporadic moment of weird. But he would soon learn to love it or at least to ignore it.

Now at first, you might say, Oh…she just has foot in mouth disease..ha ha ha. But no, that is not it..I’m not sticking my foot in my mouth and insulting anyone or saying these that I don’t mean. I just have The Weird.

So as I teach these days, I am trying to control The Weird. The Weird is bad in social situations, but it is a killer in class. I wish I could bring a camera to class so I could capture the looks on the faces of my students at the moment of The Weird. Because it is one thing to do The Weird, but quite another to have to explain The Weird.

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